Entity Finale B
by Agent Blackhawk Carter
Summary: Humor. Parody. This is what happens when I get a full night's sleep after viewing an SG1 Episode that reminds me of a musical. Read at own risk of sanity.


A few things before you read this. Here they are:

1. I was studying for a test in my audio class on microphones (and it's a helluva lot more complex than most people would think with the five different types of mics and the different types of the different types, where to position them for the best pick-up, etc).

2. I was listening to my _Rent_ movie soundtrack whilst studying.

After I finished studying I put in a SG-1 DVD from season 4 (because I have no life and own all eight available seasons on DVD and I've been an obsessed fan for only three years now but got them all in two), and I watched two episodes, _Prodigy_ and _Entity_. At Janet's final line in the _Entity_ episode ("She's back!"), my mind immediately kicked over to _Rent_ and I heard that finale. With that, I decided to share what my mind came up with. It's nothing extremely funny or anything, just an alternate ending to the episode.

Elphie Muse: Well, it could be considered scary, what with Teal'c singing and all.

That's true. And it could be scary to hear Jack sing...but for all purposes of this story, the characters have excellent voices.

Elphie Muse: You just want to save their minds the image of Teal'c belting out a love ballad or something of the like.

Oh great. Now I got Teal'c singing _As Long As You're Mine_ from _Wicked_ with Elphaba.

Elphaba: How'd I get dragged into this?

Enough! We can discuss this later. Let the readers read the story and be amused by what my mind comes up with on a full night of sleep and no caffiene.

Elphie Muse: That is scary...

Elphaba: Very scary...

-.-;;; I do not own _Rent_ or _SG-1_. If I did, then I'd be rich and have Daniel and Jonas to myself...

Daniel: Thank god she doesn't own us...

Oh yeah! There's also some Sam/Jack in here for you shippers. Enjoy!

* * *

Doctor Janet Fraiser finished checking the EKG and EEG machines before turning to the three men of SG-1 and General Hammond. "I don't know how, but this brainwave is Sam's," she said. The blonde Major was lying lifeless on a nearby gurney, a nurse slowly compressing an airbag every few seconds to supply oxygen to Sam. Machinery hastily constructed was looming behind them, the yellow words of "I AM HERE" still scrolling across the screen.

"How do you intend to proceed?" Hammond asked.

"There's nothing I can do except to provide a conduit back to her body," Janet said. Hammond nodded. Janet jumped at the sound of a zat activating. She looked at Teal'c, as did the others in the room.

"The entity has deceived us on several occasions," the Jaffa said. Hammond looked at Jack who gave a small shrug.

Janet ignored them and set up the machine. She nodded to the nurse to clear the gurney. Letting out a slow breath and praying that it would work, Janet finished the circuit. Yellow arcs of electricity flowed across the wires and into Sam's body. The blonde was jerking on the bed as the electricity flowed into her. After several moments it stopped and Janet hastily removed the circuit. Everyone held their breath as they looked at the Major.

A breath escaped her body and Janet grinned, relief in her eyes. "She's back!"

Teal'c deactivated the zat as Sam opened her eyes. "Hey Carter. Where've you been?" Jack asked.

"It's gone?" she asked weakly, sitting up.

"It's gone," Daniel assured her.

"I was shouting…for you to hear," Sam said.

"We heard," Jack ensured her.

"_There is no future, there is no past_…" Janet began to sing.

"_Thank god this moment's not the last_," Jack picked up.

"_There's only us, there's only this…Forget regret, or life is yours to miss_…" Jack and Sam sang.

"_No other road no other way…No day but today_…" everyone sang.

"I can't control…" Janet, Sam, and the nurse began.

"_Will I lose my dignity_?" the men sang.

"My destiny…" "_Will someone care_?"

"I trust my soul…" "_Will I wake tomorrow_?"

"My only goal…." "_From this nightmare_…?"

"Is just to be…without you…" "_There's only now_…"

"The hand gropes…" "_There's only here_…"

"The ear hears…" "_Give in to love_…"

"The pulse beats…" "_Or live in fear_…"

"Life goes on…" "_No other path_…"

"But I'm gone…" "_No other way_…"

"'Cause I die without you…" "_No day but today_…"

"I die without you…" "_No day but today_…"

"I die without you…" "_No day but today_…"

"I die without you…" "_No day but today_…"

"I die without you…" "_No day but today_…"

"I die without you…" "_No day but today_…"

"_No day but today_!" they finished together.

* * *

So? What you think of story/parody? You must review else an unmarked white van will pull up to your dwelling and ninjas will pile out and abduct you.

Sam: The author scares me when she gets enough sleep...

Elphie Muse: You should see her on Pixie Stix spiked Mountain Dew...

That's a great idea! Anyone got a Pixie Stix? Anyone?

:Author goes in search of Pixie Stix sugary goodness:

Everyone: 00;;;;


End file.
